{"id":1359,"date":"2020-06-14T19:45:37","date_gmt":"2020-06-14T22:45:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2020-06-14T19:45:37","modified_gmt":"2020-06-14T22:45:37","slug":"o-namorado-pandemia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/2020\/06\/14\/o-namorado-pandemia\/","title":{"rendered":"O NAMORADO PANDEMIA"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2020\/06\/namoradopandemia-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1360\" width=\"380\" height=\"213\"\/><figcaption>Livre-se do Namorado-Pandemia <br><br><br><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Como n\u00e3o poderia deixar de acontecer os namorados tamb\u00e9m mudaram com a Pandemia , embora poucas j\u00e1 tenham se apercebido. E, por isso, se faz necess\u00e1rio orientar as mo\u00e7as para que reflitam sobre essas mudan\u00e7as, at\u00e9 mesmo para que n\u00e3o comprem presentes \u00e0 toa no pr\u00f3ximo dia dos namorados. &nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1.O NAMORADO LOCK-DOWN.<\/strong> \u00c9 aquele que passou a se julgar \u00a0possuidor de total controle sobre os atos e movimentos da namorada. Enfim, a amada n\u00e3o pode sair mais de casa nem em fotografia do instagram.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2.O NAMORADO PICO.<\/strong> O namorado Pico da Pandemia \u00e9 aquele para quem a data de ambos se juntarem nunca chega. Enquanto ela anseia pela por esse dia, ele contemporizando lhe diz: \u201c Meu bem, segura as pontas s\u00f3 at\u00e9 que cheguemos ao pico de nossas economias, que garantir\u00e1 nosso futuro\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Esse pico, obviamente, tal qual o pico da pandemia, nunca chega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3.O NAMORADO COVIDE 19<\/strong>. \u00c9 aquele indiv\u00edduo, pequeno, invis\u00edvel, e pegajoso, que um dia, a par de todas as preven\u00e7\u00f5es da namorada, arranja uma brecha em qualquer buraco pertencente a \u00a0ela ( o cora\u00e7\u00e3o tamb\u00e9m serve) e l\u00e1 se instala. Depois de invadir seu corpo o pr\u00f3ximo passo \u00e9 a sua casa. A coitada \u00a0s\u00f3 saber\u00e1 se o expulsou de verdade quando conseguir ar puro novamente. Sem respirador.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4. <strong>O NAMORADO \u00a0VACINA.<\/strong> \u00c9 aquele que tem solu\u00e7\u00e3o pra tudo, \u00a0doen\u00e7as e n\u00e3o doen\u00e7as. \u00a0At\u00e9 briga de cachorro ele resolve. Se a namorada compra um carro, ele, solid\u00e1rio,\u00a0 logo se antecipa: deixa o carro comigo e fique em casa para sua seguran\u00e7a, meu amor!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Desconfiada da vacina que est\u00e1 tomando s\u00f3 resta \u00e0 garota sair atr\u00e1s de um antiv\u00edrus justamente contra o Namorado &nbsp;Vacina. A essas alturas j\u00e1 descobriu que s\u00f3 o distanciamento n\u00e3o resolve.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>5. <strong>O NAMORADO NOVO NORMAL.<\/strong> \u00c9 aquele que se julga v\u00e1rios segundos \u00e0 frente de todo mundo. Sua palavra de ordem \u00e9: \u201cTudo mudou depois da Pandemia meu bem!\u201d. \u00a0Quando ele apresenta, aos beijos e abra\u00e7os, um novo amigo de quem ela desconfia os trejeitos, ela come\u00e7a a ter certeza que h\u00e1 algo de anormal com o seu namoradinho Novo Normal. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jos\u00e9 Ewerton Neto \u00e9 autor de O ABC bem humorado de S\u00e3o Luis<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2020\/06\/abcgato-1-574x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1361\" width=\"236\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2020\/06\/abcgato-1-574x1024.jpg 574w, https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2020\/06\/abcgato-1-168x300.jpg 168w, https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2020\/06\/abcgato-1.jpg 718w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Como n\u00e3o poderia deixar de acontecer os namorados tamb\u00e9m mudaram com a Pandemia , embora poucas j\u00e1 tenham se apercebido. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>O NAMORADO PANDEMIA - Ewerton Neto<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blogsoestado.com\/ewertonneto\/2020\/06\/14\/o-namorado-pandemia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"O NAMORADO PANDEMIA - Ewerton Neto\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Como n\u00e3o poderia deixar de acontecer os namorados tamb\u00e9m mudaram com a Pandemia , embora poucas j\u00e1 tenham se apercebido. 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